A friend of mine posted this on Facebook the other day:
“I had a shit day. Someone asks how was your day. What do you say? Because I’m trying to stay positive and I don’t get it…how do I communicate without complaining?!”
About four months ago I started to resent positivity. I hated my life and I no longer even felt safe to express myself with my friends and family for fear of being “negative.” So I actually took a break from positivity. I promised myself that I could be as negative as I wanted for a full month. It was an interesting ride.
At first I reveled in it like a rebellious child, being negative just for the sake of negativity. I was a beast let out of her golden cage of lies. About 10 days into it, I started to exhaust myself with my own downer spirit. And then, for some unexplained reason, I started to be grateful for my hardships. I was grateful for my joy, sorrow, anger, every success and every disappointment. I wasn’t telling myself to be grateful, I just was. I am grateful for everything, however I am not grateful for it all of the time. I think that’s where the magic of positivity thrives and honesty lives.
I recently read an article entitled “Fuck You Spiritual People For Using Gratitude As A Bypass To Your Anger.” There’s a lot of truth in those words. See what you resist persists, that’s Psychology 101 from none other than Carl Jung himself. If you resist all those negative feelings and try to bury them under positivity and gratitude, they only fester.
All of your feelings are valid. Your point of view is valid. Your crappy day is valid. You are valid.
When you allow yourself to go through your experience of life, instead of avoiding it, you get to live your life! And that alone will encourage natural gratitude to evolve on it’s own. But as an added bonus, when you give your thoughts and feelings freedom to exist, they pass through your mind like clouds in the sky.
How did I respond to my friend on Facebook?
“I don’t think being positive means you have to be inauthentic. My definition of positivity is trusting that I can be myself and speak my truth and everything will work out fine.
So I would say: give yourself permission to be honest. That’s not the same thing as complaining.”
What’s your definition of positivity? Share it below in the comments.
I leave you with a daily affirmation from Louise Hay:
About the Author
Ta-Shana Taylor is a a blogger, pet mommy, and scientist living in South Florida. She has BS in Geology from Northeastern University and a MS in Geosciences from University of Arizona and another MS in Teaching from Pace University. You can follow her musings on the world on Twitter.