Self-Love…So Much More Than Positive Affirmation

Self Love

Today’s Affirmation:  “I choose to decide to not force myself into fake happiness.”  ~  Traci Dawn

 Since my journey to self-love began about a year ago,

I’ve come to understand the importance of daily affirmations and positive self-talk. But this took some time. At first, the influx of inspirational advice was overwhelming and frustrating. Majestic photos overlaid with cursive type (for the inspiring quotes designed to uplift) or bold letters (for more direct statements intended to motivate or strengthen) dominated my daily Facebook news feed.

I thought to myself, “Sure, easy for you to say, but how do you actually implement these concepts?” In fact, some of the advice made me angry. These affirmations

“Choose happiness.”

Oh, really? If it were easy, wouldn’t we all just be happy? No anger, no grief, no struggles to expand and grow, no truth. Sounds like a great fantasy-land! Choosing to heal wounds and pursue happiness is more realistic than simply deciding to be happy.

Hug yourself.”

I’m sorry, but it feels much better to get a hug from another human being. Plus, I would look strange to others upon greetings. I may get strange looks if they try to give me a hug, and I say, “No thanks, I’m hugging myself today.”

“Think positive thoughts.”

We are human, thinking positively 100 percent of the time is impossible. Trying to achieve this sets us up for failure — we feel guilty when we think a negative thought, expecting that we have blown our ability to manifest our dreams, which leads to more depression. It’s okay to be human and imperfect. Set achievable goals that allow for success. For example, decide to change your thought pattern about a particular situation. When that situation presents itself and you notice the negative thought pattern emerging, change it. Once this becomes habit, move on to another challenge.

“Always see the other viewpoint with compassion.”

Okay, but first I want to cuss out the selfish, angry man who just cut me off on the road, then I will try to feel compassion. What does it mean to view every situation with compassion? And how do we balance compassionate thinking with defending our truths?

“Speak your truth.”

Does that mean “you are an ass-hole, you are self-centered and I hate when you ____?” How much truth is too much?  At the same time, being honest and showing up as our authentic selves reminds us — and others — who we are and what we believe. It also allows us to set healthy boundaries.

“Practice non-attachment.”

This is an interesting concept that I am exploring. In some circumstances it makes sense — don’t worry about the outcome of the job you applied for or why that person isn’t interested in going out with you. But how do you apply the theory of non-attachment when you are emotionally involved with other people..without the risk of detachment? This is worthy of an article on its own. Stay tuned.

I love the humorous spin JP Sears puts on New Age awareness. Check out his Facebook page and YouTube videos. Laughing is healing, and he is hilarious.

In the meantime, if you also are muddling through life challenges or a transformation, stop trying so hard. Some try to tell us we are perfect, divine human beings — and we are in a spiritual sense. But here on earth, we are human. Take a deep breath, know you are doing the best you can at this time, and give yourself credit for surviving the storms. You are going to make it! Remember — every darkness is followed by a new dawn.

One more piece of advice from an over-thinker — sometimes it is good to JUST BE.


About the Author

10801540_10205102329694418_7183490180085304562_nTraci Dawn is a writer, editor and founder of Finally 50, where she provides the serious and humorous sides of midlife transitions. When Traci founded Finally 50 she says, “I found that once I began speaking openly about my struggles with self-identity, depression and lack of purpose, other women freely shared their pains, fears and challenges. I learned that many women in their middle years need support and new, creative ways to reset their lives. Follow Finally 50 on Facebook and Twitter @finally50.


  1. I found this article to be very acurate. Chose Happiness, Hug Yourself..? exactly. If it were all that easy wouldn’t everyone be happy. Sometimes it IS best to just be, and not overthink every single event.
    Traci is a very bright and insightful writer. I am looking forward to reading more of her articles! Great job!

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