How to Connect to Your Inner ‘Independent Woman’


Not every woman was born to just be a ‘mom’, or ‘employee’, or ‘boss.’

Those are simply labels…words of the world used to identify us on the outside. But on the inside, we know we are beautiful souls here to express our unique personalities, talents and gifts. We are so much more than the daily chores, work tasks, errands we run and the children we raise.

There are so many women, notably, stay-at-home-moms, who appear to have forgotten or lost their identities as individuals. The career-oriented, ambitious and independent nature they once possessed prior to having children seem to fade after only a few years of child-rearing. This is so sad and the reason why this seems to happen is because as women taking care of others, we start to tune out our inner voice in order to listen to the voices of our families.

As women, we are naturally intuitive. As long as our minds don’t get in the way, whether we recognize it or not, we seem to have an inner knowing that something just either “feels right”…or it doesn’t.

When we can trust our intuition, we are able to make better decisions for ourselves and are more willing to speak up for what we want. Because our instinct tells us so! But if we can’t tap into our natural intuition, we can easily feel like we’ve lost our identity, lose our confidence and, as one woman called it, be left feeling like an “empty shell of a human”.

It’s so important as women to be able to connect to our intuition so that we can make better choices for ourselves in order to feel happier, more confident and get a stronger sense of who we really are.

“Turn off the lights and go downstairs”

But what if you have trouble connecting to this inner knowing? You can use what I call the “Turn out the lights and go downstairs” approach. I know this sounds strange, but it’s a simple, two-step method. You’ll need to find a quiet place for about 5-10 minutes.

Step 1: Turn off the lights

Close your eyes and go upstairs – meaning, up to your ‘busy-never-ending-chatterbox’ brain. Next, turn off all the light switches. The ‘light’ in this case represents all the noise we have in our heads, i.e. the inner dialogue, the complaints, the worries, the fears, the concerns. Shut it down. Make your mind go dark and blank. Let it cool off. Literally, go inside your head and do this.

Step 2: Go Downstairs

Now, once you’ve done that, go downstairs – meaning, your heart. Start to feel your way there and begin to turn on all the lights in that room. Imagine your heart has a bunch of windows where the blinds have been shielding the sunlight and start to open the blinds, air out the windows, crack open the shades. Let yourself breathe in the fresh air from the outdoors and feel how bright it is in this area. FEEL your way around your heart. Sit with this for a while and notice how it feels in your body.

This place…that is your inner knowing.

So when you’re having a tough day, or a hard question you need to ask yourself…go to that place. It will guide you to the right answer…coming from the independent, confident and beautiful woman you are.


About the Author

LindaLyLinda Ly is an ex-accountant turned headhunter turned Career Intuitive Coach. She guides young women to clarify their true life purpose and pursue the great work they’re destined for in this lifetime. As an experienced recruiter, she’s realized the pain and frustration we experience in our daily jobs is simply a way of the universe speaking to us… pointing us to our unique path. For a career intuitive session with Linda, visit her website:

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  1. Pingback: Awakening the Divine Feminine in Mother India - Found My LightFound My Light

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