In my hands is the most powerful potion from Mother Earth…
I’m talking about Ayahuasca, a brew made of healing plants used for spiritual awakenings, purification and purging by the indigenous tribes of the Amazon.I have tried Ayahuasca eight times and I want to share with you why and how it changed my life.
Let me start by saying, I am not one to use recreational drugs – chemical or natural – the ones I have tried, I have hated. I believe natural “drugs” like weed and mushrooms should only be medicinal and ceremonial. So I am not a “hippie,” I am not one of the people that go to Burning Man, or sit around smoking weed. I barely drink alcohol. But no judgement if you do.
To be honest, I am just that ‘normal’ 9-5 career gal, who is living her existence wondering with all my heart why I reincarnated here. The BIG question I wanted answered was: WHY AM I HERE?
I am on the path to ascension. But what does that all mean?
I wasn’t so sure at first. To ascend do I need to just be a good person? Smile at everyone even if I feel feelings of “hate” towards them? Let people stumble all over my boundaries so I seem “good”, forcibly tell myself I am pretty in the mirror while really hating myself? Read a ton of books on how to ascend? Meditate nonstop? Go to a billion psychics who tell me I am a healer and then say, “OK thanks..? NOW WHAT?”
I am a Reiki Master, I have been downloaded with ancient symbols– doesn’t that put me into ascension? Well…no.
Over the years, I have learned that even if you’re psychic, you can still be a low vibrational asshole. Even if you’re a Reiki Master or beyond, you can still be paying attention to the dark entities that whisper in your ears, you can still give into that ego that is screaming for attention and telling you you’re not the light. You can still be horrible to your lover and family, materialistic and ego-centric. But enough about my ex-boyfriend…
What does Ayahuasca do?
I definitely didn’t do my homework before my first ceremony. I was prepared to “trip” to my higher self and angels and be told what my purpose was. I assumed (really bad to do that) that It would be beautiful. I also was a little scared of throwing up and having an accident in my pants (as everyone is scared of that).
Ayahuasca works best with clear intentions. And what she (Mother Ayahuasca) does is show you ALL the bad so you can see how beautiful you truly are. She works on dispelling your shadow side. For example: are you angry all the time? She will let you know why. Maybe it was the bully from 5th grade, or the great uncle that molested you when you were two that you don’t even remember- she will show you – force you to relive it- so you can move on and clear it. If you allow her to do her work, you will wake a new person. If you don’t surrender to her ways, things will be tough for you.
“Our darker sides want to be illuminated, because it is the only way they can liberated; and this path towards self knowledge is definitely worth following.” – The Chakra Handbook.
I attended ceremonies at the Rythmia Resort in Costa Rica which has the only medical plant medicine license.
They guided us to have these three intentions in this order:
- Show me who I have become (after my soul has split from me at a young age)
- Merge me back to my soul at all costs
- Give me a new heart.
The Ayahuasca First Ceremony
In the first ceremony I had no idea what I was in for when I asked to “show me who I have become.” It turned out to be a nightmare. My visions were a nightmare, I was throwing up constantly, I was terrified. I was trying to figure out the medicine, trying to control her. I wasn’t breathing. My ego was telling myself not to breath. It didn’t want to die. Low and behold BREATH is what gets you through the tough stuff, it’s what dispels the bad parts of the ego. I was fighting hard.
For some it takes multiple shots of the medicine to start working, for me that night it took 1 shot and I was out for the whole night and it wasn’t even done when the ceremony ended. I woke the next morning in mourning. Someone had died. It was me. The part of me that was holding myself back from shining my light.
The Next Time
Although I woke up scared, crying, tired and exhausted, I soon realized I had an amazing experience. What some might call a “bad trip” if they were on acid or mushrooms is the best kind when working with Mother Aya. The more shit that comes up, the more your letting go of. The next three ceremonies were quite different. The second night I didn’t take as much medicine and had more body sensations. Even the “bad” sensations in your body is clearing and healing you.
I had an “experience” and certainly some things cleared out, but I knew I had to go back because I didn’t feel like I felt the spirit that some other people were speaking about. Having consultations with Mother or their Higher Self- feeling the love. On my next trip to Costa Rica, I took multiple shots of the medicine the first two nights and cleared some more thought patterns that seemed to be holding me back in life. I felt happy and blessed upon waking. Every night that I took the medicine I wondered “why am I doing this to myself” every night I felt fear of the unknown.
The more I talked to other guests and went to the meetings, the more tips I gained on how to work with the medicine. Ask her to show you how to trust. Ask her to show you how to surrender. Beg her to be gentle. Thoughts came up… was I done “seeing who I have become?” Can I move onto the next intentions? The thought of merging back to with your soul is even frightening. Will I die? Am I dying? And a new heart? Do I need one? Do I deserve one?
Trusting and My Miracle
The third night on my second trip to Costa Rica is when I got my “miracle” a.k.a the enlightening experience that I was looking for. It started off with some major purging (throwing up) which again is good. I had the same type of scary and annoying visions that I just couldn’t stand anymore. It was showing me how complacent I was with some things in life. I had to yell, beg and scream (in my mind) for the medicine to take it away.
Then the purging happened. I had to be serious about it though. I had to really mean it. With some help from a Shaman calming my energy after purging, I was able to surrender- lay back and then it happened. A gentle voice in my head led me through a series of breathwork, clearing and teachings. It was my soul, my Higher Self had come down for a visit and she told me she would never leave. She also performed heart surgery on me. My chest was sore for about 4 days after the surgery. Think what you will, it was real. My heart is brighter, bigger, new. I was gifted a Spirit Animal. I was downloaded with information for later use. I was finally connected.
I now feel whole again. My best friend is back. I have a support team. I gained trust in myself. I now know the path. I was merged back with my soul. I had my new heart.
Purging the Shadow Self
This is the path to ascension. Whether it is through medicine, deep meditation, or therapy. “Purging” your shadow self, really looking at your bad shit in the eye and clearing it- doing the hard work, digging deep and letting emotions run. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to be fearful, allowing yourself to trust in spirit, this is the work. This is the path to ascension.
I had a friend there on the second trip and he was someone that fought the medicine and wasn’t ready for the shadow work, he wasn’t open to being vulnerable- he refused to let go of his ego. He had a really tough week and tough ceremonies and his life journey of ego and resistance will be a hard one. We can only now send him love.
So it’s important you ask yourself: are you’re ready for the work? I send you all my blessings and support, but be sure you know what you are getting into.
Are you ready to be the shining soul you really are? This is not acid, this not mushrooms, this is an ancient healing medicine that knows what is best for you. I pray that we all do this work, that we shine our lights brighter to lead the way for all to ascend.
About the Author
Jessica Leffler has been embarking on a journey to find balance, both mentally and physically, through spirituality and health. She has found that you can attain optimal happiness and health by listening to your own inner guidance. An intuitive empath, New Yorker turned Californian, sister, daughter, fashion buyer, Jessica is a distance energy healer at www.JessicaAdi.com Her goal is to inspire others on the path to ascension.